Have you ever experienced something that you could not put your finger on? Something that was almost like a dream state? The closer you came to it the more out of focus it became? I was in a tail spin last week and was on overload, but I had the most amazing weekend I have had in years. This might seem like a work of Non-Fiction, or even Fantasy BUT it might have been everything I needed. I will try to explain myself, with bad punctuation and horrible grammar.
The weather did a 180 this last weekend and it was sunny and in the 50s. I spent time out in Idaho Falls and enjoying my surroundings. I went to the book store and lost myself in genres and music. I browsed spines, fonts and even enjoyed the Christmas music in the background. I spent hours in the kitchen cooking, new and fabulous dishes. I listened to music, I made playlists, I drank wine and (no kidding) even relaxed. It seemed the closer I got to taking hold of the experience the more I would get anxious or light headed. I do not get light headed and when I had to hold onto the grocery cart I knew I was having my senses overloaded! This was too much, my system has throttled down since moving to Idaho falls. I could not handle the smells, the tastes, the feelings and the thoughts. There was even a moment I had to lay down on the floor of the living room. The ability to touch it with my fingers, hold it in my arms, smell it in my nose, taste it in my mouth -man, I needed to stop taking so much Nyquil.
This is hard to put into words. To state something, or to overstate something - what to do. When you get stressed out and sick and take things to sleep, you can get disoriented. Disoriented, that is a good word for what I was feeling. I would wake up on the couch wondering what the day held and how possibly this day could get better. I told my principal that I had a doctor's appointment in Salt Lake City on Monday, he just asked what type of Doctor. When I got back from Utah it was dark out. I was standing in the dark just outside my apartment. As I walked inside I heard something drop outside on the steps. I turned the light on to look around. The oddest thing, a Summit bottle cap was outside my door. I laugh that the weekend was surreal and almost a dream. The cap made me miss Minnesota and wonder why I was reminded of this fact....I was again reminded that it must not have been a dream because of the smell of garlic, the onions, dirty dishes, remnants of dark chocolate and the note that was personal- yet simple 'thank you'
Yes, I had a great weekend. I have not had that much fun in years with someone. I realize I like to joke around and hide truths in half-truths. I had a great weekend, and yes I was sick leading up to the weekend but came through like a champ. Does this sound fun to you.....a new place, great sites, small towns, old movies, relaxing, cooking, laughing, music, creating, silence and the warmth of sun on your face with the sound of rushing water around you? Sharing all of that with someone else? I could not have asked for more out of my weekend, with company. What more can I say? When reality came washing around me like warm bath water on Tuesday I was back at school in meetings, just as we were to leave the principal asked (in front of everyone) how my doctor's appointment was the day before in Utah. I can not repeat what I said, but it did get the laughs AND my point across.
If my words were to fall on the correct ears - thank you.
On to other things. This is what my FB status was about yesterday, my iPod!! I sent my iPod to get fixed - in the mail to MN. Well, it got lost and everyone washed their hands of it. I could not believe my luck, this during the period of extreme stress and loneliness. I come home last night and put my hands in the mailbox, and my fingers wrap around a box. In the darkness of the street lights I could not read any hand writing. I get inside the apartment and realize as I open the box it is from the fix it place. I got my iPod back!!! It was fixed and the experience cost $5!! God might not want to put a relationship in my lap BUT He does want me to be happy.
The movies of the weekend are Run Fatboy Run, Casino Royale, and NYPD Blue Session 1.
I still love everyday at school. The kids are great. I love teaching. I move into my new classroom just before Christmas break. They just installed my Smartboard today. Oh baby!! Please continue to pray for the author of these funny stories, this is not an easy position to be in. I still find moments where I am lonely, and just want to have a conversation over drinks - looking at someone. The phone does work as well.
I know I should proof read this post, but that is not my style. I could polish this one up and make it an amazing little entry but why dwell.
God is good, all the time, All the time!!
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